No More Mr. Nice Guy

I shared this title with a few friends and I'm sure that they wondered, "Uh oh."

Nearly 20 years or so ago, my Pastor actually told me, in regards to getting more people to get involved in helping run a church softball league, "Jon, you need to almost become arrogant."

Yes, my Pastor said that.

Almost immediately, though, he added, "But I know that you're pretty much not capable of doing that."

That pretty much still holds true today. Especially when it comes in dealing with people.

For some people, it is easy for them to just say, "Flake off (or some other off-color version)," and move on with their life.

Unfortunately, I'm a nice guy, and yes, I've let myself be taken advantage of. And I'm not the first and certainly won't be the last.

At 45, I need to change. There's one or two that will say that I already have and that's their perogative to believe that. So be it. See, the change is easy. Is it really?

Well, not really, but it'll take time. It really is unnatural to me. I know more of what to guard against now than what I did before.

I think if you want a great friendship or relationship you have to invest a lot in it. If you don't, then nothing will ever really come of it.

It is basically the verse in the Bible that says, "To have friends you must show yourself friendly."

I've also always thought the next part of that is: "Don't, then, let it go to your head either."

I helped put together a community event a couple of falls ago for a few friends who had achieved some significant accomplishments athletically. Somebody made the comment to me privately, "Most of the people that are here are because of you."

And my thought was, then and now, "Yeah, so. No big deal."

It is because I had showed myself friendly in the community - and still do. But it wasn't anything that I needed a medal for or had a right to beat my chest over.

Last weekend's marathon kind of level set things for me after some tumultous personal dealings. I was able to get back to doing things that I truly loved to do to get away from the day-to-day work week, which has been pretty stressful lately, but I realized that those activities now come with more physical and emotional limits.

And I need to be more realistic about and cognizant of them.

Charlie Sheen might call this winning. I call it learning.

So does still make me, "Mr. Nice Guy"? That's for you to decide.